sixteen

as it goes, there are sixteen (16) days left before the start of the school year. realtor is showing the house off today at 6pm – have to hide all my fishtanks and “lightly” clean before then. I work today, from 10am to 6pm, so… I’m wasting the hours I’ve got left to clean by writing this instead. a standard use of my time.

it’s starting to feel sureal, or something. that initial wave of excitement is over, having been wittled down by preparation and documents, phone calls and emails, and anticipatory grief at the end-result of many of those things. excitement boiled down to a sort-of high-strung and very tepid glee. I guess I find it harder and harder to be excited as we draw closer to the inevitable – financial conversations like budgeting and figuring out scholarships, feeling awkward about my age and appearance and generally wishing I stopped existing, other things.

but that does go away, and it will. when I’ve forgotten about all the exhausting work, I get some kind of sparks of joy for the exhausting, but fun, work. comes in waves, much like everything else that kills you slowly.

maybe I’ll return tomorrow with an update as to how Saturday goes, should it be anything eventful. this is largely because I can’t find something to write about while so tired before closing this blog post off. so that is it, reall. ciao.